I’ve been massively putting off writing this but i feel like i need to write about this chapter of my life, i’d feel like i was lying to you in a way if i never wrote about this on my blog.
Like the title suggests i dropped out of University, yes i know we don’t call it college in the UK but college dropout has much more of a ring to it. I feel like by writing this i’m trying to justify myself but i’m not, I left uni and i don’t have to justify myself to anyone, but heres why i did it:
I didn’t want to go in the first place. There, i said it. That was something i was worrying and thinking about for the last few months, i knew for a while i didn’t actually want to go to university anymore – i’m never really sure i did. I’m really surprised nobody noticed, when people would ask me how excited i was for university i would literally just shrug, i wasn’t excited for university i was dreading it.
This was really unlike me, all through my life i’ve just done the things you’re supposed to do: handed in my homework on time, did my GCSE’s, got my A Levels and was accepted into a Russell group university. I was never someone who strayed from the norm i always just did what my friends were doing, this was until i decided to take a gap year. For the first time in my life i wasn’t doing what everyone else was doing, i was terrified and admit i felt left behind when my gap year started and i was watching snapchat stories and seeing instagrams from freshers week.
The feeling of being left behind quickly left me, if anything i started to feel ahead; i was making money, planning a trip to America and had a new hobby that i was enjoying more than anything i had ever done in my life. Everyday i would see people talking about how they didn’t want to do work for their course or being really behind, falling asleep in lectures. I knew this would be me, although i loved doing politics at A Level and i’m hugely opinionated on the subject, i didn’t want to be essay writing for the next three years especially with graduate employment rates being at an all time low.
So i made the decision to call my mum and tell her i was coming home; that day was honestly the weirdest day of my life, at the time i thought it was the worst day of my life but now i know it was far from it, it was the bravest day of my life.
I knew i wanted to work, not where i was working previously (although i loved it there it isn’t the career path i’m going for) but somewhere i could learn from my mistakes and progress in an industry.
Last week i had a job assessment for something i’ve wanted to do for years, for the first time in a long time i’m excited about the future because that future doesn’t involve me being bored, miserable or in a mountain of debt.
– On to better things, Maria x